Hey guys!

I'm back for an update. It's been a few months and if you have been following me on social media then you know I have been minding the noggin and taking it easy.

This week a number of articles have appeared on The Journal.ie (see here) about grieving and bereavement.
I must admit it is hard reading other peoples' stories but it is a lovely and brave thing to be part of. Some of the pieces have been written by terminal disease sufferers and some pieces have been about what to say to someone who is grieving.

You all know at this point that I am in the midst of grieving for my husband Stephen who passed in January 2015.

It is almost comical at times how some people react when they hear this.
I am 27, I have the ability to put on a mask 99% of the time so I don't have to share my pain with the world so when someone new meets me (that's been happening a lot lately- more on that later) you can see the metaphorical jaw being picked up off the floor.

Us Irish are great for keeping things private and not discussing death in public. Cancer used to be a killer for everyone, the survival rates are improving all the time. Poor Stephen was one of the unlucky few,
I don't bring the subject up mostly for fear of what will be thrown back at me. Some people are insensitive and seem to keep at me until they see tears.. Others avoid me like the plague.
It hurts sometimes because I lost two people I thought were friends that way.
Sometimes a simple "how are you getting on"? question is all you need to say. If I say "I'm grand" I don't want to talk. If I start pouring out my worries then I want to talk!

On October 25th just passed, I celebrated my first wedding anniversary. I spent weeks worrying about how I was going to be. I didn't want to make a fuss. I wanted to just live in the moment and have some privacy so I didn't have to feel pressured.
I got locked with Gemma (well I got locked she slept) in a hotel in Loughrea, Galway.  We went to a spa and had a massage and went home the next day.

Grief is like a rollercoaster with lots of peaks and dips. You never know how you are going to feel. One minute I am grand the next I am sobbing. There are flashbacks that haunt me and nice memories that make me laugh,

I am a very spiritual person and believe that Stephen is around me. Meditation helps a lot as I am able to calm myself and being around positive energies helps too.

There is so much more that I could talk about here but a lady needs to keep some secrets hahaha who am I kidding I am a pure bloke! hahaha sorry I am cracking myself up here... ok... tumbleweed passes...

Quick round up of what else I've been up to before I let you back to your day...

- El Dieto stopped after marathon... Emotional eating has been put under control for now so I'm actually following your man Paul McKenna book - I can make you thin link here

This is not a diet, It is about changing the way you think about food. It not only works on your attitudes but also your self esteem and confidence.

I am liking so far!









- I was accepted into and am 8 weeks into college. I am studying Creative Digital Media in Institute of  technology, Blanchardstown. This is a 4 year honours degree course and a blogger/youtuber dream. It involves alot of project work, creating, film making, photography and web design. I am in my element. I am up to my eyes but the motivation to get back into blogging is there.
creativedigitalmedia.ie

- I am the founding member of a blogger society in college! Yay! More work for me but again anything to get the creative juices flowing again

- I'm a qualified Make up artist.. Again.. I went back to get my ITEC certificate over the summer..

- I am working part time again. It's a struggle with course load but I love the place so am working hard to keep the job.


If you made it this far, fair play to you. I will catch you in my next post!

Love  Louise xxxx